It is cheese, wind and breath. It is cheese...
Anon on the tagboard is right. It has been four days.
Okay, so maybe it wound up being five days. Big Whoop, Wanna fight about it?
My original idea was that starting from this Sunday, I would be giving you both barrels of folksy Nick-blog every day for a week with no respite in sight.
Something I forgot to account for, is that I haven't had a chance to stop and scratch myself let alone sit and write a blog post until right now. (Right now being 11pm on Monday night)
Saturday, Sax and I started at 7:30am on rennovations/refurbishments of the new cafe that we will both be working in. It's owned by his folks. The keys got handed over at 5pm Friday, and the small group of us spent from start time Saturday until we left at 11:30pm yesterday, working our fantastic little asses off. The place came up a treat though. Come visit us. Kappy's Cafe. Flinders Street, City.
Needless to say, after working all weekend, I collapsed in a heap in the early hours of yesterday morning and didn't move until I had to go pick up my folks at the airport this morning.
That takes us to round two: My folks have been overseas for the last 6 weeks. That meant a fairly early morning today to go get them, wait in the arrivals lounge while the airport decided if their flight had landed or not, then get their jet-lagged selves home.
It's been three or four bloody big days. So I'm not super up to posting. But then again, this IS a post, so I'm doing something right.
If you don't mind, I'll get in this post now, and get one in tomorrow night as well. I've got one boiling away.
Main thing that is kept me from posting is the fact that I was pretty sure that noone reads anymore, but apparently at least one person does.
Oh, while I think about reader-ship, I found out that my landlord googled me, and found the blog, so hello to him if he's reading. I haven't been evicted yet, so that must be a good sign.
(Either that or it's going to happen. Watch this space. )
Talk to you kids soon.
Don't eat the yellow snow
Monday, September 01, 2008
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Everything was spinning when I came to in the chill out tent.
You know what dude? You're right. I did post once and then bugger off for a month.
I assure you, this isn't out of laziness, more inconvenience.
We had the internet hooked up, but we are plagued by issues with it. As it stands at the moment, our internet drops out every 1-6 minutes. This means that this blog post was written very slowly over very short bursts of connectivity.
We're working on it, but as you can imagine, it's pretty frustrating to sit down to try and write something, and have the internet fading in and out.
I'm doing what I can now.
Also, Just came through another round of exams, which meant I felt that I should probably be studying as opposed to browsing the net.
(Which is what I normally do instead of studying)
So, what else is up with all y'all out in the real world?
To make the obvious comment, HOLY FUCK THE PRICE OF PETROL IS HIGH! I paid $1.72/L yesterday. God damn it makes me cry. Bring on the alternative fuels.
It's pretty likely that I'm going to spend at least some of my tax refund on a bike, now that I live a little bit more centrally (and not on the top of a giant fucking hill) I can use one of those to get around a little bit and get some respite from high petrol prices.
But in bigger and better news, the new fucking BATMAN movie is coming out soon. Next week in fact. You think you're excited?! Feel these nipples!
That's all for now, the net is giving me the SHITS. As soon as I can, I'll be back yo.
You know what dude? You're right. I did post once and then bugger off for a month.
I assure you, this isn't out of laziness, more inconvenience.
We had the internet hooked up, but we are plagued by issues with it. As it stands at the moment, our internet drops out every 1-6 minutes. This means that this blog post was written very slowly over very short bursts of connectivity.
We're working on it, but as you can imagine, it's pretty frustrating to sit down to try and write something, and have the internet fading in and out.
I'm doing what I can now.
Also, Just came through another round of exams, which meant I felt that I should probably be studying as opposed to browsing the net.
(Which is what I normally do instead of studying)
So, what else is up with all y'all out in the real world?
To make the obvious comment, HOLY FUCK THE PRICE OF PETROL IS HIGH! I paid $1.72/L yesterday. God damn it makes me cry. Bring on the alternative fuels.
It's pretty likely that I'm going to spend at least some of my tax refund on a bike, now that I live a little bit more centrally (and not on the top of a giant fucking hill) I can use one of those to get around a little bit and get some respite from high petrol prices.
But in bigger and better news, the new fucking BATMAN movie is coming out soon. Next week in fact. You think you're excited?! Feel these nipples!
That's all for now, the net is giving me the SHITS. As soon as I can, I'll be back yo.
Monday, June 09, 2008
Mothers, Lock up your daughters...
I'm back baby. I'm back.
Who the hell even still reads here anyway? Is it you? If so, You're awesome. Keep up the good work.
I guess I should explain my some-month absence from the ol' blogging game.
I finally found a place, and finally moved out of my parents house. I moved in on the 20th of March, and we FINALLY got the internet connected a few days ago.
Why did it take so long? No real reason, other than the fact that our friends at Telstra couldn't find their arse with both hands, a map and flashlight, but they will still spend 3 months trying and then charge you for the privilege.
God bless 'em.
Quick run down of the details, I'm now living in a nifty little 3 bedroom Dude Ranch in the suburb of Edwardstown. I'm walking distance from Trains, Busses, Shops, Restaurants and bars for the first time in my life, and I'm loving it. Rent is affordable, and the move has made life all the sweeter.
But I'm back down to my fighting weight, got an ADSL2+ connection under my belt, and I'm raring to get back in the ring.
Stay tuned mother fuckers. There's a lot in the news pissing me off...
I'm back baby. I'm back.
Who the hell even still reads here anyway? Is it you? If so, You're awesome. Keep up the good work.
I guess I should explain my some-month absence from the ol' blogging game.
I finally found a place, and finally moved out of my parents house. I moved in on the 20th of March, and we FINALLY got the internet connected a few days ago.
Why did it take so long? No real reason, other than the fact that our friends at Telstra couldn't find their arse with both hands, a map and flashlight, but they will still spend 3 months trying and then charge you for the privilege.
God bless 'em.
Quick run down of the details, I'm now living in a nifty little 3 bedroom Dude Ranch in the suburb of Edwardstown. I'm walking distance from Trains, Busses, Shops, Restaurants and bars for the first time in my life, and I'm loving it. Rent is affordable, and the move has made life all the sweeter.
But I'm back down to my fighting weight, got an ADSL2+ connection under my belt, and I'm raring to get back in the ring.
Stay tuned mother fuckers. There's a lot in the news pissing me off...
Sunday, January 27, 2008
If you measure the world by the mark that you've made....
So hear I sit. 22 years old. Many thanks to those of you who emailed/texted/rang/left facebook messages.
The theme for this birthday was "Hey fucker! I hear you're moving out!". I got, in no particular order, Bath towels, cutlery, money, gift certificates, more money and an iron.
It's Saturday night. I sit right now, not at my desk, but cross legged on my bed, facing the TV.
Dead like me is playing on the screen, I have a keyboard on my lap a textbook (Elements of physical chemistry 4th Ed) balanced on my right knee and a notepad on my left, my trusty silver Parker pen balanced mid-sheet. To my right hand,
there is a calculator, a remote control and a glass of 12 year old single malt, Glenfiddich.
And I'm comfy cozy. I have my shit strewn around me, and I'm cozy.
I worked all fucking day, and its nice to be able to just post up and watch some TV with my shit.
But that's the way it works sometimes. It took me a while, but I feel comfortable with my own shit. Cryptic yes? Maybe. But it's true.
I'll talk to you all soon.
So hear I sit. 22 years old. Many thanks to those of you who emailed/texted/rang/left facebook messages.
The theme for this birthday was "Hey fucker! I hear you're moving out!". I got, in no particular order, Bath towels, cutlery, money, gift certificates, more money and an iron.
It's Saturday night. I sit right now, not at my desk, but cross legged on my bed, facing the TV.
Dead like me is playing on the screen, I have a keyboard on my lap a textbook (Elements of physical chemistry 4th Ed) balanced on my right knee and a notepad on my left, my trusty silver Parker pen balanced mid-sheet. To my right hand,
there is a calculator, a remote control and a glass of 12 year old single malt, Glenfiddich.
And I'm comfy cozy. I have my shit strewn around me, and I'm cozy.
I worked all fucking day, and its nice to be able to just post up and watch some TV with my shit.
But that's the way it works sometimes. It took me a while, but I feel comfortable with my own shit. Cryptic yes? Maybe. But it's true.
I'll talk to you all soon.
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Now you're getting the idea Clark....
Shiny prizes to the first person who can tell me where that blog title comes from! (My money is on Mr Matthew "Wizzah" Wisdom for the gold)
So. What the FUCK has been up?
The last time I spoke to you all, it was Christmas Adam (Adam came before Eve, Geddit?) and I was sitting facing another delicious Christy-poos at home.
You haven't heard from me in almost a month! That's an awful long time.
My Christmas went down fairly predictably, got a decent haul of gifts and goodies. The two most awesome of which were 1) An action figure of Altaiir of Assassins Creed fame (Bought by my lovely girlfriend) 2) A Flying alarm clock (from my folks)
How the FUCK does a clock fly you ask? Well, it doesn't, but it has a ping pong ball with a propeller and a prong on top, and when the alarm goes, the ball flies off somewhere and you have to get up, find it, and replace it before the alarm will stop going off.
It's so crazily annoying!
Rang in the New Year by working, then getting in Sean's pool, then macking on my own girlfriend, then sleeping.
New Years was SO less crazy than it used to be. We all remained fairly sober. Everything wrapped up about two, then we all took ourselves off home to a comfy bed. So different from the days where we would drink two litres of the cheapest rocket fuel we could get our grubby underage mitts on and falling asleep on the ground in puddles of our own blood/vomit/semen/urine/all of the above.
How times have changed.
As this pseudo-chronological recount of the last month continues, the early parts of January have been spent working (I worked 10 closes in a row last week) and looking for a house with my cronies. Neither is going well.
Had a break from the monotony and did some bar work for this past weekend's "Summer party" in Rundle park. A venue that was graced by the presence of the one and only, Vanilla Ice (Too cold, too cold).
If anyone was wondering, His real name is Robert Matthew Van Winkle, and he has two daughters Dusti Rain Ice and Keelee Breeze Ice.
Noone was wondering. I know that noone was wondering.
It was good to be behind a bar again.
After tonights shift at work I feel the need to point out to the general public that all transactions should be completed in a sharpish manner. Imagine that the person behind the counter REALLY has to pee, because, if I served you between the hours of 8pm and 9pm tonight, I really DID have to REALLY pee.
In the same vein, if I am serving you and the phone starts ringing, I am TRYING to finalize the transaction as fast as possible so I can answer the phone. Please don't take that as an opportunity to count out your payment in change, because it WILL give me the shits.
It's my birthday in....some days, and I am truly beginning to feel OLD.
There are people my age who have real jobs, are getting married, have babies (or are having babies) and all of those things. ALL OF THEM. Make me die a little inside. I don't want ANY of that. AT ALL.
I would be quite happy to get a job behind a bar, and work there 5 days a week for a few years.
Don't even get me started on the people who are breeding early. They wind up with kids named Dusti Rain and KeeLee Breeze.
Well, me thinks he doth rant on too much.
I shall leave you now.
PS: What the mother fuck is up with that "Hey there Delilah song by the Plain White Tees. It is SO incredibly shit it makes me cry. Fuck them.
Shiny prizes to the first person who can tell me where that blog title comes from! (My money is on Mr Matthew "Wizzah" Wisdom for the gold)
So. What the FUCK has been up?
The last time I spoke to you all, it was Christmas Adam (Adam came before Eve, Geddit?) and I was sitting facing another delicious Christy-poos at home.
You haven't heard from me in almost a month! That's an awful long time.
My Christmas went down fairly predictably, got a decent haul of gifts and goodies. The two most awesome of which were 1) An action figure of Altaiir of Assassins Creed fame (Bought by my lovely girlfriend) 2) A Flying alarm clock (from my folks)
How the FUCK does a clock fly you ask? Well, it doesn't, but it has a ping pong ball with a propeller and a prong on top, and when the alarm goes, the ball flies off somewhere and you have to get up, find it, and replace it before the alarm will stop going off.
It's so crazily annoying!
Rang in the New Year by working, then getting in Sean's pool, then macking on my own girlfriend, then sleeping.
New Years was SO less crazy than it used to be. We all remained fairly sober. Everything wrapped up about two, then we all took ourselves off home to a comfy bed. So different from the days where we would drink two litres of the cheapest rocket fuel we could get our grubby underage mitts on and falling asleep on the ground in puddles of our own blood/vomit/semen/urine/all of the above.
How times have changed.
As this pseudo-chronological recount of the last month continues, the early parts of January have been spent working (I worked 10 closes in a row last week) and looking for a house with my cronies. Neither is going well.
Had a break from the monotony and did some bar work for this past weekend's "Summer party" in Rundle park. A venue that was graced by the presence of the one and only, Vanilla Ice (Too cold, too cold).
If anyone was wondering, His real name is Robert Matthew Van Winkle, and he has two daughters Dusti Rain Ice and Keelee Breeze Ice.
Noone was wondering. I know that noone was wondering.
It was good to be behind a bar again.
After tonights shift at work I feel the need to point out to the general public that all transactions should be completed in a sharpish manner. Imagine that the person behind the counter REALLY has to pee, because, if I served you between the hours of 8pm and 9pm tonight, I really DID have to REALLY pee.
In the same vein, if I am serving you and the phone starts ringing, I am TRYING to finalize the transaction as fast as possible so I can answer the phone. Please don't take that as an opportunity to count out your payment in change, because it WILL give me the shits.
It's my birthday in....some days, and I am truly beginning to feel OLD.
There are people my age who have real jobs, are getting married, have babies (or are having babies) and all of those things. ALL OF THEM. Make me die a little inside. I don't want ANY of that. AT ALL.
I would be quite happy to get a job behind a bar, and work there 5 days a week for a few years.
Don't even get me started on the people who are breeding early. They wind up with kids named Dusti Rain and KeeLee Breeze.
Well, me thinks he doth rant on too much.
I shall leave you now.
PS: What the mother fuck is up with that "Hey there Delilah song by the Plain White Tees. It is SO incredibly shit it makes me cry. Fuck them.
Sunday, December 23, 2007
Paradise comes at a price...
If you know where to look, you can find comedy anywhere.
Case in point; The cover of today's Adelaide Sunday Mail.
Now, In case you didn't see it, I'll set the scene for you.
Firstly, No, I wasn't referring to the tagline at the top which said;
The unintentional comedy of the paper was this.
See, the Sunday Mail has this habit of running a headline for one story then a picture for another, or a headline and a picture for one story, and then a second by-line and bit of text for another story.
Today's paper has a picture of a happy smiling family. Mum, Dad and a new baby with the headline "MIRACLE ON ICE", then, the by line for the second story, "Airport arrests as drugs seized" which was about a woman arrested for trying to smuggle $700,000 worth of the drug ice in shampoo and baby powder containers through Adelaide Airport.
The best part about it is that the two stories were COMPLETELY unrelated, with the picture and headline referring to the kid that was born from sperm that had been frozen for 21 years. However, for that happy family, they are now painted as drug smugglers!
Hooray for the Sunday Mail!
Also in unintentional comedy, there was a mini bus that crashed earlier this week carrying a metal band. Even though two of the guys in the band died, the news story reporting the accident was the funniest piece of TV reporting that I had ever seen.
Maybe I just laugh at things that are horribly wrong....
Oh well...
If you know where to look, you can find comedy anywhere.
Case in point; The cover of today's Adelaide Sunday Mail.
Now, In case you didn't see it, I'll set the scene for you.
Firstly, No, I wasn't referring to the tagline at the top which said;
"NICOLE CORNES HITS BACK, "I'd make a good MP"
But I digress.Sure, that was pretty fucking hilarious, especially if you went to the trouble of reading the article inside. Sorry Nicole, but you have done ABSOLUTELY nothing to suggest that you would be a good MP. Even in your 2 page rant in the paper, you mention sweet fuck all about how you would actually perform as an MP, you just seem to be fixated on the fact that you were both a mother and a student at some point, and because you can do those two things at once, you are qualified for the role. I quote "I grew up in Boothby, had owned a successful small business, had nearly completed a Law degree and was a mother" (Highlighting was my doing)
Hey Nicole! I've nearly completed a degree too! Maybe I should run!
Even if you do have the desire, you certainly don't seem to have the credentials and, if that absolute bloody abortion of a campaign was anything to go by, you certainly don't have the ability to influence people, or paint yourself in a professional light.
No. Just no.
Hey Nicole! I've nearly completed a degree too! Maybe I should run!
Even if you do have the desire, you certainly don't seem to have the credentials and, if that absolute bloody abortion of a campaign was anything to go by, you certainly don't have the ability to influence people, or paint yourself in a professional light.
No. Just no.
The unintentional comedy of the paper was this.
See, the Sunday Mail has this habit of running a headline for one story then a picture for another, or a headline and a picture for one story, and then a second by-line and bit of text for another story.
Today's paper has a picture of a happy smiling family. Mum, Dad and a new baby with the headline "MIRACLE ON ICE", then, the by line for the second story, "Airport arrests as drugs seized" which was about a woman arrested for trying to smuggle $700,000 worth of the drug ice in shampoo and baby powder containers through Adelaide Airport.
The best part about it is that the two stories were COMPLETELY unrelated, with the picture and headline referring to the kid that was born from sperm that had been frozen for 21 years. However, for that happy family, they are now painted as drug smugglers!
Hooray for the Sunday Mail!
Also in unintentional comedy, there was a mini bus that crashed earlier this week carrying a metal band. Even though two of the guys in the band died, the news story reporting the accident was the funniest piece of TV reporting that I had ever seen.
Maybe I just laugh at things that are horribly wrong....
Oh well...
Friday, December 14, 2007
A musing....
Fun sized candy bars have gotten smaller. Does that mean that the fun of the product had increased, so we require less to have the same amount of fun? Or are people finally wising up to the fact that tiny candy bars were never really that fun to begin with?
Fun sized candy bars have gotten smaller. Does that mean that the fun of the product had increased, so we require less to have the same amount of fun? Or are people finally wising up to the fact that tiny candy bars were never really that fun to begin with?
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
You've got the touch! You've got the power!
So I took a month or so off from the old blogging game. Not because I was busy or anything, just cause I didn't really have a whole lot of stuff to say.
I'm trying to hopefully get my shit together and get out of home at some point before uni goes back, which means I'm picking up as many shifts as I possibly can. Which, at this stage, seems to be quite a few due to a variety of staff shortages. I loves the money.
I haven't even considered starting my Christmahanaramadanakwanzaa shopping, and still have no idea what I'm getting most of my family. And ye gods, don't even get me STARTED on what I'm buying for my girlfriend.
I hate buying presents. I hate it so much. So much stress involved.
I have got myself with a couple of holiday projects on the boil. The biggest and most major of which is related to the STEP program at Mercedes. Those graduates of said program will know what I'm talking about. For those who don't, STEP stands for Studies Extension Program and the core belief of it is that not all learning goes on inside the classroom with books. The teacher who runs it is immensely passionate about getting kids to change their thinking and question their beliefs while actually learning useful life skills.
To that end, he teaches you to think differently and change the way you think. You learn how to cook, save money, maintain an engine, work as a team, speak in public, ask questions and relate to other people. You get to step outside your comfort zone. You go caving, gliding, scuba diving, go karting in carts that you have assembled and maintained yourself and all sorts of stuff like that.
At the end of the day, my part in the plan is engineering a new section of STEP related to my own area of expertise. It's a bit of work, but I reckon it will pay off in the end.
I'm all for the theory behind STEP. It's done a hell of a lot for me, and a lot of my classmates agree with me. The problem is, because it isn't what you would consider a conventional study program, there is a lot of pressure from the narrow minded in the community to get rid of it.
It needs all the support that it can get.
Being the tremendous supernerd that I am, I fell in love with "Get This" with Tony Martin, Ed Kavalee and Richard Marsland on Triple M. Unfortunately they got axed at the end of November which made me sad. But then I DID discover this site which has ALL of the podcasts of the show on it. I strongly suggest that if you have an hour, sit down and listen to one.
I've been listening my way through them systematically. Only becoming more nerdy as I get through them.
It also means that I'm busting out inside jokes around people that really don't get them. Screaming "Oooooh! ME PLUMS" whenever theres a loud crash, and randomly busting out "ASSAULT! ASSAULT! You touched me officer, Sorry"
Ah, tis a sad sad life.
Been doing a bit more writing. Might get some of it up on here eventually. Maybe. If I can actually finish something for the first time in my life.
Expect more later....
So I took a month or so off from the old blogging game. Not because I was busy or anything, just cause I didn't really have a whole lot of stuff to say.
I'm trying to hopefully get my shit together and get out of home at some point before uni goes back, which means I'm picking up as many shifts as I possibly can. Which, at this stage, seems to be quite a few due to a variety of staff shortages. I loves the money.
I haven't even considered starting my Christmahanaramadanakwanzaa shopping, and still have no idea what I'm getting most of my family. And ye gods, don't even get me STARTED on what I'm buying for my girlfriend.
I hate buying presents. I hate it so much. So much stress involved.
I have got myself with a couple of holiday projects on the boil. The biggest and most major of which is related to the STEP program at Mercedes. Those graduates of said program will know what I'm talking about. For those who don't, STEP stands for Studies Extension Program and the core belief of it is that not all learning goes on inside the classroom with books. The teacher who runs it is immensely passionate about getting kids to change their thinking and question their beliefs while actually learning useful life skills.
To that end, he teaches you to think differently and change the way you think. You learn how to cook, save money, maintain an engine, work as a team, speak in public, ask questions and relate to other people. You get to step outside your comfort zone. You go caving, gliding, scuba diving, go karting in carts that you have assembled and maintained yourself and all sorts of stuff like that.
At the end of the day, my part in the plan is engineering a new section of STEP related to my own area of expertise. It's a bit of work, but I reckon it will pay off in the end.
I'm all for the theory behind STEP. It's done a hell of a lot for me, and a lot of my classmates agree with me. The problem is, because it isn't what you would consider a conventional study program, there is a lot of pressure from the narrow minded in the community to get rid of it.
It needs all the support that it can get.
Being the tremendous supernerd that I am, I fell in love with "Get This" with Tony Martin, Ed Kavalee and Richard Marsland on Triple M. Unfortunately they got axed at the end of November which made me sad. But then I DID discover this site which has ALL of the podcasts of the show on it. I strongly suggest that if you have an hour, sit down and listen to one.
I've been listening my way through them systematically. Only becoming more nerdy as I get through them.
It also means that I'm busting out inside jokes around people that really don't get them. Screaming "Oooooh! ME PLUMS" whenever theres a loud crash, and randomly busting out "ASSAULT! ASSAULT! You touched me officer, Sorry"
Ah, tis a sad sad life.
Been doing a bit more writing. Might get some of it up on here eventually. Maybe. If I can actually finish something for the first time in my life.
Expect more later....
Friday, November 09, 2007
I see a red door and I want it painted black.....
"Australians have never had it better"
"Mr Howard! How can you say that! My childcare and grocery bills are bigger than ever before! and interest rates are high.... Also, when I eat, I get hungry again soon after! Then I have to poop! Also, My nephew has cancer! And my son is playing in the living room, and just broke a lamp! I have the sniffles! Summer is too hot! There are only 24 hours in a day!
No offense, but you're out of touch... If you can't get all of those SIMPLE things right, how are you going to lead our country? "
Sorry, I've been hearing that "Mr Howard" ad on the radio and TV for AGES now, and I figured if Labor were going to apportion blame for things that the PM can't control, I might as well add a few to the list.
Seriously, that ad shits me purely because it tries to exploit the ignorant for votes. There is a drought on. A pretty critical one. John Howard, although he is good, cannot make it rain.
I'm sorry, but if you were turning to him to break the drought, you might have a long wait. Maybe learn a rain dance yourself or something.
(And before you fuckwits jump on and say "Well, the PM can control interest rates by fixing a number of small things in precise amounts". Fuck you. I did economics too. I did WELL in Economics. Ultimately, market forces are in control, and there is practically sweet FA that J Ho can do about it)
But on to happier subjects,
Still been studying for the exams, just a little more than two weeks now until I'm done for the year and you better BELIEVE I'm excited.
Over the past week, I worked a lot more than I usually do (25 odd hours) which is about 10 hours up on what I have been working. And I found in that time, a lot more things annoy me than if I was working a few hours less.
The first one is the loop tape. Now, I'm sure I've mentioned the thing before, but to reiterate, it's basically a promo tape that we have on in store, featuring movie previews, store ads, game previews and music. All of these are arranged into a loop that plays through about once an hour.
This month's is PARTICULARLY annoying for a number of reasons.
-One of the songs is "WHAM - Wake me up before you go go". SO irritating. (And before you say, No Nick! I love Zoolander! That's an awesome song. Try listening to it 8 times in one day, then tell me how good it is)
-There is a clip for "Georgia Rule" which features Linsday Lohan screaming. That grates on my nerves.
-For some reason, the promo for Shrek 3 is on there twice, So about once every 25 minutes, I get the same promo. MOST of it is really unobtrusive, but there is one part where they spoof the war cry from the start of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant song". Watch this, you'll see what I mean. It bugs me NO end. Cuts through me like a knife.
-Two other lines, one in the "Meet the Robinsons" Trailer "Bake them cookies Lucille" and one from the Santa Clause 3 trailer (Yeah, I know, they made a third one. WTF?) Martin Short saying "Excuse me, did you just accuse me of being skillful and delicious?"
Fuck you Martin Short. You are NOT funny. NO!
Also; New brands of customers that annoy me.
- Customers that don't close the freezer. It happens more than you think. They will grab out their ice cream, and just LEAVE the fucking freezer door open. I assume they have closed it, and discover 40 minutes later that they just left it sitting open for all the other ice cream to defrost. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE.
-Customers who will rent or buy something, or come to return something, but have a question for me, who will stand IN the security gates waiting for me to finish with my current customer. Meanwhile, the security gate alarm rings loudly every three seconds, but do they move? No. They just stand there looking like a dumb shit. "Is that me?" No. It's the other fuckstick just standing in the security gate, watching the world go by. Take one fucking step to the left or right already!
-Customers who either can't or just don't read. There is LITERALLY a BIG NEON SIGN RIGHT OVER MY HEAD with ALL the information you need to know. "How much is this?", "What are some new releases?", "What's in new?". ALL of those would be answered by using that apparently MAMMOTH effort to look up by about five degrees.
-Customers who will come in during rush, want a particular DVD, but instead of looking for it, they will wait in line for 5 minutes, and then get me to go and get it for them. Now, I will freely admit, that sometimes, this is justified. If you are looking for a limited release, hard to find foreign movie, or maybe a very very old movie, chances are we don't have it, and if we do, it will require me looking on the computer. That's fine.
Standing in line for five minutes, coming up to the counter and asking me if we have any copies of "Scary Movie" and me walking out to the Comedy section, and looking under "S" to find three copies of every installment, all lined up in a neat little row is GOING to piss me off. ESPECIALLY when it's during the rush.
- Customers who still cant master the New Release system. Now, we have a very complicated system where there are TWO covers for each DVD. A display cover, which is generally the cover you would get were you to go out and BUY the DVD, and a rental cover, which has bright orange bars with the store name and OVERNIGHT RENTAL emblazoned on it, promotional material, our phone number and a variety of other things. The two look very different. The display cover, is put on display, in front. The rental cover is placed BEHIND the display cover.
Now, If it's your first time, I'll be gentle. I'll hold your hand and I'll walk you through it. I mean, it IS your first time. You're probably nervous, your hands might be shaking a little, a bit of performance anxiety. I'll understand if you grab the wrong cover.
If you come in multiple times every fucking week, and ALWAYS insist on grabbing the wrong cover, bringing it up to the counter (again, especially in rush) and then looking at me dumbly as I explain the system and then walk out and collect the right ones. (Or, even worse, the movie is out, and have you get irate at me because "Well, why would you have the cover there if the movie isn't in! That's stupid." It's so that YOU can see what we actually have in stock doofus. If it's not in, you can get it next time. Otherwise on a busy night, there would be nothing but blank shelves.)
Have a think. Which one am I likely to give you to hire? The shiny brand spanking new looking cover with not a mark on it? Or the beat up, scuffed cover, that is plastered with the store name, and stickers specifying the duration of the hire that looks like it's been passed around everyone in the neighbourhood? Do you know why it looks like that? BECAUSE IT HAS. FUCKING GET IT RIGHT!
Man, That's enough ranting for today I think.
Back to the books. Smell you later.
(PS: I watched "Meet the Robinsons the other day, and this is EASILY the funniest part of the movie)
"Australians have never had it better"
"Mr Howard! How can you say that! My childcare and grocery bills are bigger than ever before! and interest rates are high.... Also, when I eat, I get hungry again soon after! Then I have to poop! Also, My nephew has cancer! And my son is playing in the living room, and just broke a lamp! I have the sniffles! Summer is too hot! There are only 24 hours in a day!
No offense, but you're out of touch... If you can't get all of those SIMPLE things right, how are you going to lead our country? "
Sorry, I've been hearing that "Mr Howard" ad on the radio and TV for AGES now, and I figured if Labor were going to apportion blame for things that the PM can't control, I might as well add a few to the list.
Seriously, that ad shits me purely because it tries to exploit the ignorant for votes. There is a drought on. A pretty critical one. John Howard, although he is good, cannot make it rain.
I'm sorry, but if you were turning to him to break the drought, you might have a long wait. Maybe learn a rain dance yourself or something.
(And before you fuckwits jump on and say "Well, the PM can control interest rates by fixing a number of small things in precise amounts". Fuck you. I did economics too. I did WELL in Economics. Ultimately, market forces are in control, and there is practically sweet FA that J Ho can do about it)
But on to happier subjects,
Still been studying for the exams, just a little more than two weeks now until I'm done for the year and you better BELIEVE I'm excited.
Over the past week, I worked a lot more than I usually do (25 odd hours) which is about 10 hours up on what I have been working. And I found in that time, a lot more things annoy me than if I was working a few hours less.
The first one is the loop tape. Now, I'm sure I've mentioned the thing before, but to reiterate, it's basically a promo tape that we have on in store, featuring movie previews, store ads, game previews and music. All of these are arranged into a loop that plays through about once an hour.
This month's is PARTICULARLY annoying for a number of reasons.
-One of the songs is "WHAM - Wake me up before you go go". SO irritating. (And before you say, No Nick! I love Zoolander! That's an awesome song. Try listening to it 8 times in one day, then tell me how good it is)
-There is a clip for "Georgia Rule" which features Linsday Lohan screaming. That grates on my nerves.
-For some reason, the promo for Shrek 3 is on there twice, So about once every 25 minutes, I get the same promo. MOST of it is really unobtrusive, but there is one part where they spoof the war cry from the start of Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant song". Watch this, you'll see what I mean. It bugs me NO end. Cuts through me like a knife.
-Two other lines, one in the "Meet the Robinsons" Trailer "Bake them cookies Lucille" and one from the Santa Clause 3 trailer (Yeah, I know, they made a third one. WTF?) Martin Short saying "Excuse me, did you just accuse me of being skillful and delicious?"
Fuck you Martin Short. You are NOT funny. NO!
Also; New brands of customers that annoy me.
- Customers that don't close the freezer. It happens more than you think. They will grab out their ice cream, and just LEAVE the fucking freezer door open. I assume they have closed it, and discover 40 minutes later that they just left it sitting open for all the other ice cream to defrost. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE.
-Customers who will rent or buy something, or come to return something, but have a question for me, who will stand IN the security gates waiting for me to finish with my current customer. Meanwhile, the security gate alarm rings loudly every three seconds, but do they move? No. They just stand there looking like a dumb shit. "Is that me?" No. It's the other fuckstick just standing in the security gate, watching the world go by. Take one fucking step to the left or right already!
-Customers who either can't or just don't read. There is LITERALLY a BIG NEON SIGN RIGHT OVER MY HEAD with ALL the information you need to know. "How much is this?", "What are some new releases?", "What's in new?". ALL of those would be answered by using that apparently MAMMOTH effort to look up by about five degrees.
-Customers who will come in during rush, want a particular DVD, but instead of looking for it, they will wait in line for 5 minutes, and then get me to go and get it for them. Now, I will freely admit, that sometimes, this is justified. If you are looking for a limited release, hard to find foreign movie, or maybe a very very old movie, chances are we don't have it, and if we do, it will require me looking on the computer. That's fine.
Standing in line for five minutes, coming up to the counter and asking me if we have any copies of "Scary Movie" and me walking out to the Comedy section, and looking under "S" to find three copies of every installment, all lined up in a neat little row is GOING to piss me off. ESPECIALLY when it's during the rush.
- Customers who still cant master the New Release system. Now, we have a very complicated system where there are TWO covers for each DVD. A display cover, which is generally the cover you would get were you to go out and BUY the DVD, and a rental cover, which has bright orange bars with the store name and OVERNIGHT RENTAL emblazoned on it, promotional material, our phone number and a variety of other things. The two look very different. The display cover, is put on display, in front. The rental cover is placed BEHIND the display cover.
Now, If it's your first time, I'll be gentle. I'll hold your hand and I'll walk you through it. I mean, it IS your first time. You're probably nervous, your hands might be shaking a little, a bit of performance anxiety. I'll understand if you grab the wrong cover.
If you come in multiple times every fucking week, and ALWAYS insist on grabbing the wrong cover, bringing it up to the counter (again, especially in rush) and then looking at me dumbly as I explain the system and then walk out and collect the right ones. (Or, even worse, the movie is out, and have you get irate at me because "Well, why would you have the cover there if the movie isn't in! That's stupid." It's so that YOU can see what we actually have in stock doofus. If it's not in, you can get it next time. Otherwise on a busy night, there would be nothing but blank shelves.)
Have a think. Which one am I likely to give you to hire? The shiny brand spanking new looking cover with not a mark on it? Or the beat up, scuffed cover, that is plastered with the store name, and stickers specifying the duration of the hire that looks like it's been passed around everyone in the neighbourhood? Do you know why it looks like that? BECAUSE IT HAS. FUCKING GET IT RIGHT!
Man, That's enough ranting for today I think.
Back to the books. Smell you later.
(PS: I watched "Meet the Robinsons the other day, and this is EASILY the funniest part of the movie)
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Well the weather outside is frightful...
Hey-ho campers, we have reached that time of year again. That epic time when people in costume stalk the neighborhood, knocking on doors, decorations are hung to terrify the life out of little kids and outrageous amounts of TV courage are dedicated to terrifying and disgusting programming.
I of course refer to election time.
Nothing scares me more, or makes me sicker to my stomach.
Consider this, every one of the election posters I have seen stuck to the streetlights and stobie poles would look equally at home with the title "Have you seen this child sex offender?" written under it.
Is there a rule that says politicians have to put on their seediest and most disturbing smile for their campaign photos? Urgh!
The whole election thing just puts me off. I recall a quote by Billy Connolly;
"The desire to become a politician should bar you for life for ever becoming one."
True story. Most of them just look creepy.
But I digress. As always, I have to say that whoever winds up getting voted in, half of the population will still whinge about it, so ultimately, it doesn't matter.
This is where people jump up on their soapbox and say "That's a pathetic attitude to have! How can you not care about your country in that way! You're a fucking communist!"
Well, no, I'm not a communist, but look at it this way,
(I'm going to make some sweeping generalities for the sake of statistics)
Let's say that of the people who vote, the vote is split fairly evenly between the two major parties (I know that there are more than two parties, but lets face it; Not going to happen. Ever)
So let's say for the sake of completeness, that 45% of the vote goes Liberal, 45% goes Labor and 10% flip flops in the middle somewhere.
We know that the Diehard Labor voters and the Diehard Liberal voters cancel each other out, so the election goes to whoever flops that little bit extra. So with the deciding vote in the hands of that 10%, whoever gets in, at LEAST 45% of the voters will be pissed.
And I still maintain that noone gets the top job without having the best interests of the country at heart. Sure, they may be a little misguided, but overall, our country is still gonna keep ticking along.
Urgh, that post was overly political, I'm going to shower to wash the sticky off,
The more you know.
Hey-ho campers, we have reached that time of year again. That epic time when people in costume stalk the neighborhood, knocking on doors, decorations are hung to terrify the life out of little kids and outrageous amounts of TV courage are dedicated to terrifying and disgusting programming.
I of course refer to election time.
Nothing scares me more, or makes me sicker to my stomach.
Consider this, every one of the election posters I have seen stuck to the streetlights and stobie poles would look equally at home with the title "Have you seen this child sex offender?" written under it.
Is there a rule that says politicians have to put on their seediest and most disturbing smile for their campaign photos? Urgh!
The whole election thing just puts me off. I recall a quote by Billy Connolly;
"The desire to become a politician should bar you for life for ever becoming one."
True story. Most of them just look creepy.
But I digress. As always, I have to say that whoever winds up getting voted in, half of the population will still whinge about it, so ultimately, it doesn't matter.
This is where people jump up on their soapbox and say "That's a pathetic attitude to have! How can you not care about your country in that way! You're a fucking communist!"
Well, no, I'm not a communist, but look at it this way,
(I'm going to make some sweeping generalities for the sake of statistics)
Let's say that of the people who vote, the vote is split fairly evenly between the two major parties (I know that there are more than two parties, but lets face it; Not going to happen. Ever)
So let's say for the sake of completeness, that 45% of the vote goes Liberal, 45% goes Labor and 10% flip flops in the middle somewhere.
We know that the Diehard Labor voters and the Diehard Liberal voters cancel each other out, so the election goes to whoever flops that little bit extra. So with the deciding vote in the hands of that 10%, whoever gets in, at LEAST 45% of the voters will be pissed.
And I still maintain that noone gets the top job without having the best interests of the country at heart. Sure, they may be a little misguided, but overall, our country is still gonna keep ticking along.
Urgh, that post was overly political, I'm going to shower to wash the sticky off,
The more you know.
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Good morning sun...
So, here we go;
Truth be told, over the past little while, I have been thinking of ending the blog.
For no reason other than the fact that I have nothing more to say.
That, and with the PM's internet advice pamphlet that you peeps are getting in the mail, this blog is going to be regarded as explicit content, and the kids won't be able to come visit anymore.
Damn parents, stopping their kids from reading my own special brand of filth.
But there I go, riding off on my pet pony "Tangent" again.
Unclench faithful readers, the blog remains open, although the update schedule remains unfixed.
Also, you might notice that G has had his period all over his blog again. Relax, It's happened before. If you enjoy reading his special breed of ranting and raving, I'm sure there will some iteration of it up again within a month or so.
True to my previous form, a few things have been giving me the shits lately.
First and foremost;
If I hear "Thanks for the memories" by Fallout boy,(or "Thnks fr th mmrs" if you are functionally retarded) one more time, I'm going to hunt down every member of the band, and castrate them with a rusty fishing knife. I am. It shits me. It's EVERYWHERE. It's on TV, the Radio, they play it in shops now. It's not that good.
Fuck you.
I'm also getting more and more pissed at my sleeping pattern. It's always been fucked, but now it finds new and exciting ways to screw me over.
Last night, I went to sleep at 9:30pm, woke up at 1:30am, then could not fall back asleep until 7am, only to wake up again at 1.
I don't know what is up with that, but it's pretty crazy.
Other than that, I have been enjoying some things;
Halo 3 is a big one, as you can imagine I have spent a bit of time lurking around the traps there doing bits and pieces. The game is good (despite what you might hear from some people) and I am still having fun playing it. If you're interested in a game, my gamertag is Ikari0077 and you can find me floating around in matchmaking in the early evening.
Have been LOVING "Californication" at the moment. The last two episodes have been near viewing perfection. I was moved to tears. Well, almost, but you would have to be a writer to understand.
New House has hit as well, and though it isn't streaming live from the US, I still get my eps a week or so ahead.
I'm out. Carpe Fucking Diem.
So, here we go;
Truth be told, over the past little while, I have been thinking of ending the blog.
For no reason other than the fact that I have nothing more to say.
That, and with the PM's internet advice pamphlet that you peeps are getting in the mail, this blog is going to be regarded as explicit content, and the kids won't be able to come visit anymore.
Damn parents, stopping their kids from reading my own special brand of filth.
But there I go, riding off on my pet pony "Tangent" again.
Unclench faithful readers, the blog remains open, although the update schedule remains unfixed.
Also, you might notice that G has had his period all over his blog again. Relax, It's happened before. If you enjoy reading his special breed of ranting and raving, I'm sure there will some iteration of it up again within a month or so.
True to my previous form, a few things have been giving me the shits lately.
First and foremost;
If I hear "Thanks for the memories" by Fallout boy,(or "Thnks fr th mmrs" if you are functionally retarded) one more time, I'm going to hunt down every member of the band, and castrate them with a rusty fishing knife. I am. It shits me. It's EVERYWHERE. It's on TV, the Radio, they play it in shops now. It's not that good.
Fuck you.
I'm also getting more and more pissed at my sleeping pattern. It's always been fucked, but now it finds new and exciting ways to screw me over.
Last night, I went to sleep at 9:30pm, woke up at 1:30am, then could not fall back asleep until 7am, only to wake up again at 1.
I don't know what is up with that, but it's pretty crazy.
Other than that, I have been enjoying some things;
Halo 3 is a big one, as you can imagine I have spent a bit of time lurking around the traps there doing bits and pieces. The game is good (despite what you might hear from some people) and I am still having fun playing it. If you're interested in a game, my gamertag is Ikari0077 and you can find me floating around in matchmaking in the early evening.
Have been LOVING "Californication" at the moment. The last two episodes have been near viewing perfection. I was moved to tears. Well, almost, but you would have to be a writer to understand.
New House has hit as well, and though it isn't streaming live from the US, I still get my eps a week or so ahead.
I'm out. Carpe Fucking Diem.
Sunday, September 30, 2007
For the price of a coke or a smoke, you could keep alive those hungry eyes....
So what's been going on lately?
Well, not a whole hell of a lot.
SA had front row tickets to a bit of a Charlie Foxtrot situation in Melbourne over the weekend.
I feel bad for the boys. I really do.
And what's with all the SA people who were supporting the Cats? Abandon your city much?
I don't get it. Why would you do that?
I mean, I'm not a Port supporter, but I'll side with the SA side over the Victorian any day.
Anyway, that meant work was busy most of the weekend. Saturday we got busy at about half time, and stayed busy.
Work has been giving me the shits of late, to the point that I'm back out looking for a new job, so if you know of any going... here I am.
Same sad story. No hours, bad conditions. Pay and rostering are a joke. EVERYONE at the store has been put out by pay. One of my workmates couldn't pay her rent because of stupid payroll stuff ups (Both the boss and the accountant have gone away at the same time, so there is nothing we can do) and I have approximately twenty cents to last me until I get paid.
So I'm out looking for jobs and stuff. So that's fun.
I watched some Tintin today! How good is Tintin?!
I forgot just how awesome it actually is.
I am taking you NOWHERE with this line of thinking.
I haven't actually got much to say, thought I would just put in an update.
I leave you with a quote from "Family Guy" that I rediscovered just recently, and I think in light of current events, is even more true today.
Guy #1: "But! That's blasphemy! He can't say that! I'm going to do something about it!
Guy#2: "Well, there isn't really anything you can do."
Guy#1: "Ah, Well then. Looks like I will just have to develop a sense of humour"
Write that down.
So what's been going on lately?
Well, not a whole hell of a lot.
SA had front row tickets to a bit of a Charlie Foxtrot situation in Melbourne over the weekend.
I feel bad for the boys. I really do.
And what's with all the SA people who were supporting the Cats? Abandon your city much?
I don't get it. Why would you do that?
I mean, I'm not a Port supporter, but I'll side with the SA side over the Victorian any day.
Anyway, that meant work was busy most of the weekend. Saturday we got busy at about half time, and stayed busy.
Work has been giving me the shits of late, to the point that I'm back out looking for a new job, so if you know of any going... here I am.
Same sad story. No hours, bad conditions. Pay and rostering are a joke. EVERYONE at the store has been put out by pay. One of my workmates couldn't pay her rent because of stupid payroll stuff ups (Both the boss and the accountant have gone away at the same time, so there is nothing we can do) and I have approximately twenty cents to last me until I get paid.
So I'm out looking for jobs and stuff. So that's fun.
I watched some Tintin today! How good is Tintin?!
I forgot just how awesome it actually is.
I am taking you NOWHERE with this line of thinking.
I haven't actually got much to say, thought I would just put in an update.
I leave you with a quote from "Family Guy" that I rediscovered just recently, and I think in light of current events, is even more true today.
Guy #1: "But! That's blasphemy! He can't say that! I'm going to do something about it!
Guy#2: "Well, there isn't really anything you can do."
Guy#1: "Ah, Well then. Looks like I will just have to develop a sense of humour"
Write that down.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
I'm never surprised....
What do the following have in common?
"A bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an ax handle, a nine-inch zucchini, countless dildoes and vibrators including one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, a plastic spatula, a 9-1/2-inch water bottle, a deodorant bottle, a Coke bottle, a large bottle cap, numerous other bottles, a 3-1/2-inch Japanese glass float ball, an 11-inch carrot, an antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a 100-watt frosted bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver, four rubber balls, 72-1/2 jeweler's saws (all from one patient, but not all at the same time, although 29 were discovered on one occasion), a paperweight, an apple, an onion, a plastic toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got stuck when it thawed), a ten-inch length of broomstick, an 18-inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a condom, two Vaseline jars, a whiskey bottle with a cord attached, a teacup, an oil can, a six-by-five-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces, a six-inch stone weighing two pounds (in the latter two cases the patients died due to intestinal obstruction), a baby powder can, a test tube, a ball-point pen, a peanut butter jar, candles, baseballs, a sand-filled bicycle inner tube, sewing needles, a flashlight, a half-filled tobacco pouch, a turnip, a pair of eyeglasses, a hard-boiled egg, a carborundum grindstone (with handle), a suitcase key, a syringe, a file, tumblers and glasses, a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink"
They have all been removed from within people's rectums and documented in the annals of medicine.
Some people scare me....
What do the following have in common?
"A bottle of Mrs. Butterworth's syrup, an ax handle, a nine-inch zucchini, countless dildoes and vibrators including one 14-inch model complete with two D-cell batteries, a plastic spatula, a 9-1/2-inch water bottle, a deodorant bottle, a Coke bottle, a large bottle cap, numerous other bottles, a 3-1/2-inch Japanese glass float ball, an 11-inch carrot, an antenna rod, a 150-watt light bulb, a 100-watt frosted bulb, a cucumber, a screwdriver, four rubber balls, 72-1/2 jeweler's saws (all from one patient, but not all at the same time, although 29 were discovered on one occasion), a paperweight, an apple, an onion, a plastic toothbrush package, two bananas, a frozen pig's tail (it got stuck when it thawed), a ten-inch length of broomstick, an 18-inch umbrella handle and central rod, a plantain encased in a condom, two Vaseline jars, a whiskey bottle with a cord attached, a teacup, an oil can, a six-by-five-inch tool box weighing 22 ounces, a six-inch stone weighing two pounds (in the latter two cases the patients died due to intestinal obstruction), a baby powder can, a test tube, a ball-point pen, a peanut butter jar, candles, baseballs, a sand-filled bicycle inner tube, sewing needles, a flashlight, a half-filled tobacco pouch, a turnip, a pair of eyeglasses, a hard-boiled egg, a carborundum grindstone (with handle), a suitcase key, a syringe, a file, tumblers and glasses, a polyethylene waste trap from the U-bend of a sink"
They have all been removed from within people's rectums and documented in the annals of medicine.
Some people scare me....